The Inevitable Fanfiction

Does He Love You
American Idol, Season 3, top 12.
But does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he loves me?
Like he loves me?
Does he think of you?
Does he think of you?
When he's holding me?
Does he whisper
Does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he´s been loving me?
“Bye, pumpkin,” Terri calls sweetly, kissing Simon’s cheek.
“Terri…” He warns; Simon despises that name. He is ready to get moody with her, but then looks at her face, so innocent and ignorant of all the two-sidedness she lives with and he can’t help it. He kisses her lips in a tender way, an apologetic way even.
“See you later.”
“The party will end late; don’t wait up, okay?”
“Sure.” She smiles sadly. She knows he isn’t going for the Idol party.
I've known about you
For a while now
When he leaves me
He wears a smile now
As soon as he's
Away from me
In your arms
Is where he wants to be
Terri watches as Simon departs, his eyes fixated on only one person in the whole building. She stares as Paula turns to Simon as she feels his eyes running over her body in a way he thinks is discrete. He winks at her from across the room, and she blushes crimson, turning back to La Toya London and in vain, trying to remember what they were talking about. However her eyes flash to Terri whose presence she is always immensely aware of and she feels a stab of guilt in her heart. With a sigh, Terri exits the building, so tempted to go for the Idol party herself just so that she can call Simon on his absence the following day. But no, she won’t do that.
“Hello, beautiful,” says a hushed voice, deep and thick from the entrance of Paula’s dressing room.
She turns to him, her thick gold necklace half off. “Hi, Simon,” she whispers back.
He walks to her and stands where he can get a great view of her bare back. His fingers trace her neck as they peel off the necklace, the warmth of his skin giving her shivers. She lets him pull off her rings and bracelets, placing them carelessly on the table in front of them. The silence is deafening as Simon turns her to him, so they are flush against each other. His arms wrap around her quickly as his lips descend to her jaw, brushing her skin with featherlike kisses. He kisses up to her ear and bites her lobe gently. Her soft moan encourages him to touch her, and he does so. She leads his hands under her shirt and takes his lips with her own. They kiss for a long while until Paula pulls away, breathless.
“My house?” She murmurs.
“Mm… no. Right here, right now,” he protests, attempting to kiss her again.
“No, not here.” He clicks his tongue impatiently, but nods.

***
But you're the one he
Rushes home to
You're the one he
Gave his name to
I've never seen his face
In the early morning light
You have his mornings,
His daytimes
And sometimes
I have his nights
Simon and Paula lie in each other’s arms, content and lingering in the place between wake and sleep. Paula holds him tightly by the waist - hoping like every other time - that he will stay the night. And like every other time, he tightens his grip on her momentarily, kissing her forehead before untangling his limbs from hers.
“Don’t go,” she whispers, despite her attempt to be strong.
Her eyes fill with tears watching as he pulls his boxers up his legs, shirt, pants, belt and shoes. He acts like he didn’t hear; only facing her once he is fully dressed. She hides her face under the sheets, but the slight shaking of her shoulders are sign enough for him to see she is crying. He bites his lip helplessly wondering why women had to be so emotional.
“Paula… I have to. She’s –”
“She’s waiting for you, I know.” Paula sniffs. “I don’t want this anymore Simon. You just… don’t care about me.”
“You know that isn’t true, love.” He cups her face. “I care about you a great deal.” They sit in silence for a moment, neither knowing what more they can say. “Bye, darling. Sleep well.” With a kiss to her head, he leaves again, like every other time.
But when he´s with me
He says he needs me
And that he wants me
That he believes in me
He doesn’t know that she never sleeps well after he leaves her, how from a tension-filled friendship, they had come to the deepest of betrayals. He doesn’t know how much she longs to stay in his arms the whole night and wake up there in the morning. That she would kiss him long and slow and invite him to join her in the shower, that she would make breakfast for him, he doesn’t know. She has fallen for him and there is no going back.
When Simon reaches home, he creeps into his bedroom to see Terri staring up at the ceiling. She is lying on top of the comforter, not letting herself fall asleep under them. She doesn’t let herself turn to him, knowing the tears will fall as soon as she sees his face. So she listens to the sounds of his shirt falling to the floor and his belt being placed on the dressing table. The weight shifts on the bed as he lies beside her and places a hand on her face. He tilts her face to his own, and the tears fall. She can’t help it; and it makes him feel like the worst kind of person. He holds her close because it’s the least he can do, and he assures her that she is the only one for him though they both know their relationship was supposed to be an open one. But she takes comfort in his empty words, letting herself almost believe them for a minute. It is the only thing she can do now that she has fallen for him; there is no going back.
And when I'm in his arms
How he swears there's no one else
Is he deceiving me?
Or am I deceiving myself?
Am I deceiving myself?
***
But does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he loves me?
Like he loves me?
Does he think of you?
Does he think of you?
When he's holding me?
Does he whisper
Does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he´s been loving me?
The day passes quickly and soon, they have been through another episode of Idol. Everyone has gathered in Ryan’s dressing room, where Simon and Terri take up the sofa. He has his arm wrapped around her shoulders and he is being extremely affectionate – to make both she and himself feel better. It works on the exterior, where they are both glad to see the other smiling, but all those deeper feelings of hurt, the murky chord of pain that joins their hearts stings deeply. How badly Terri wants to give him an ultimatum – ask him to choose between her and Paula, but no, she knows she will lose that battle. So she sits quietly beside her man and lets him play with her hair. Maybe he will realise some day that he is hurting her and that he loves her enough to be faithful.
Paula watches from across the room, wishing more than ever that she was young and tall; maybe then she would capture his heart for good. Forever. She just wants to stand up and yell ‘It’s over!’ and that he had to pick one or the other. It is not in her nature to be the other women; in fact, she would never have dreamt she would have been in such a position in her life. Simon makes her do such strange things, behave in ways she wouldn’t usually and it’s all rather frustrating. She won’t make him choose though because she knows she will lose. She knows he will pick Terri – so she will continue to hope fruitlessly that she would get fed up and leave him, or better yet, he would make the decision.
Oooh I should not lose my temper
Oooh I should not be ashamed
Cause I have everything to lose
and I
I have nothing to gain.
Terri believes that Simon loves her, despite that he is plays her, and despite that he can never be settled with only one woman, she wants to believe that he keeps her around for a reason; that she means enough to him to not want to let her go. And that maybe someday, she can be the one who makes him commit to only one woman. All she has to do is stick around long enough. Paula too believes Simon loves her and not Terri – for if he loves Terri as much as he should, he would not bed her – not betray her trust just to lay with another woman. It is only her that he has, not any random lady; it is her he can’t seem to let go of.
Yes, Terri knows it’s her that Simon loves. And yes, Paula knows it’s her that Simon loves.
But does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he loves me?
Like he loves me?
Does he think of you?
Does he think of you?
When he's holding me?
Does he whisper
Does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you?
Does he love you?
Like he´s been loving me?