The Inevitable Fanfiction

Summary: All the illusions couldn't change the reality that she was his number one.

Friday, February 12th, 2010

"Hello?" Paula pressed the phone to her ear tiredly. She lowered the volume of the TV in her hotel room and lied back on the bed.

"Evening, darling."

"Hi Simon," she replied, a little less enthusiastic than she usually was.

"Everything alright?"

"I'm fine. Just tired," she said, and for the most part, it was true. It wasn't evening yet, but she was already shattered.

"Yeah, I know what you mean." He yawned into the phone, and Paula smiled.

"How are you?"

"Good, good. Where are you now?"

Paula knew what he would say if he found out where she was, so trying to soften the blow, she whispered, "Arizona."

"Arizona?" Simon's voice rose. "What on earth are you doing in Arizona? Oh don't tell me you went to visit your little boyfriends..." She heard him scoff.

"They're both married, for your information. But yes, I did an interview with them," she said, more boldly than she really felt.

"And how did that go?" He asked.

"Oh you know, just what I've been up to, what I'm working on now, your girlfriend, the X Factor, Britain's Got—"

He cut her off. "Alright, enough with the sarcasm."

"Who's being sarcastic?" She retorted. She had become too good at this game that he had once played so much better.

"Paula, come off it. You know it's just for Mezhgan's sake."

"They think you're engaged, Simon!"

"What?" She heard him take in a sharp breath.

"That you're planning puppies and babies, and now there's this interview with Nigel wishing you all the luck and happiness in the world, and-" Tears filled Paula's voice, causing her to choke and begin coughing loudly. She continued, through bouts of coughing and the tears that threatened to fall, "and they are saying how she's left your house barefoot... but Simon, it's February!"

"All the more reason you should know it's all bullocks, darling," Simon replied evenly. "Now what's this really about, hmm? You know they're just rumours and that they'd make a story out of anything."

Paula sighed, curling her legs up and holding a pillow to her chest. He knew her so well. "Today, John Jay and Rich asked me if I missed Idol, if I missed being a part of it, and I said no, that I didn't..." Simon waited patiently to continue. "But with Idol, I had you-"

"You still have me," he said, without missing a beat.

"Maybe now, maybe for a few months. But what then, Simon? What when you find someone new, and I'm still here, waiting for your call? I don't want to meet you after a long time and realise I don't know you anymore. I don't- I can't- I can't handle that."

Simon sighed. He knew Paula had trust issues, and while most of the time, she did have faith that he would be around, sometimes, he knew, she lost it. Sometimes, she needed to be told. "You'll never lose me, Paula. Never."

"How can you be so sure?" She whispered.

"Because that would mean that I'd have lost you... And I couldn't handle that either." When she doesn't reply, he continues, "you will always be the first to know, love, about anything. If I get a new girlfriend, if I buy a puppy, when I am leaving someplace or I've just landed. I'm sorry this whole thing has been blown out of proportion, but that's just how England is, I'm afraid. I'm telling you now though, the truth, and I expect the same from you."

Her hand has placed itself over her heart, and the tears that fall now are happier than the ones before, falling heavily but without the burden that they carried before. "You'll be the first to know from me, too."

"Good." He smiled, and could sense that she was smiling too. But then she sniffed, and he needed to be sure. "Are you crying, sweetheart?"

"No," Paula replied, grabbing a tissue off the nightstand and wiping her nose.

"You're a bad liar, you know. I can see right through this phone, through the satellite, all the way to Arizona, right to you."

"Shut up," she mumbled, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. She sounded angry, but Simon knew that she was just embarrassed and that she didn't want him to laugh at her.

He smiled to himself. "You know, Paw-la, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were jealous."

"Jealous? Of who? Mezhgan? Hah." She snorted.

"Welll..." He drawled on, and while she rolled her eyes, Paula couldn't control the blush that had risen to her cheeks. "You were pretty upset, earlier."

"Can you go back to being Sensitive Simon? I like him better right now," she huffed, evading the statement.

He laughed, genuinely. "I'm just playing, Paula. Where's your fight gone to?"

She growled slightly, burying her head into her pillows, and mumbled "I left it back in L.A."

Simon turned a little serious, knowing she did not need his prodding at that moment. Sensing she had some more to say, he only replied with "I see." He waited for her to continue, and after a moment, she did.

"Maybe I am... a little jealous..." Paula allowed herself to admit. "I mean, she can spend time with you and not worry about who says what about your relationship. Thrive on it, even. If we were to go out together, well, we couldn't, because..."

"It'd be exactly the same," Simon said.

"What? No, I mean..." she stuttered.

"They would speculate the same thing about you and me, but the only difference would be that we don't want them to think that," Simon rationalised.

Paula said nothing for a few seconds, wondering if it was that simple. "Remind me again, why we wouldn't want that?" she asked then, quietly.

"Well, we wouldn't really want the whole world thinking we're a couple, right?"

"Right..."

"Right."

After a moment, Paula added, "We'd be almost as big as Brangelina."

Simon gasped, feigning shock. "Paula, you underestimate me. We'd be bigger than them by a mile!" She laughed.

"You don't measure mass in miles," Paula said, through her giggling, and he began to laugh with her.

"Oh, Paula, this is why you are first. My number one," Simon said. He remembered how this had been pointed out to him in an interview before, how Paula made him giggle, but he couldn't help himself. She was just infectious, and she could get into his head.

At his statement however, Paula turned slightly more serious again. It was strange, how their conversation had turned so quickly, so many times, in such a short span of time, but it was part of what made them essentially them. Neither would have the other any other way. "You're my number one too," she replied, touched.

"Glad to hear it." He smiled to himself.

"I'll be seeing you soon?"

"Yes, you will. We're wrapping up auditions here, and I'll be back for the live shows in a few days."

"Good. I've missed you."

They had seen each other a few weeks ago, when Simon had been there for the taping of Idol's Hollywood round, but it wasn't enough for them. Now, Paula was glad to be able to spend a great deal of time with him.

"I miss you too," he said, and something in his voice made it sound even more genuine than when he said it other times.

"You should sleep, it's late there."

"Mm. But could you stay on the line? Until I fall asleep, at least?" He asked, feeling a little shy all of a sudden, a little embarrassed by his neediness.

"Of course. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight."

Paula waited a few minutes until his breathing evened out and then she smiled. "Love you Simon," she mumbled, but couldn't bring herself to click the red button.