The Inevitable Fanfiction

In between
Paula’s POV
It is the first audition city for Season 8 of American Idol and everyone is mingling and saying their ‘hellos’. Ken Warwick claps his hands to get our attention. He succeeds and soon the five of us have stopped our greetings and waiting for him to give us instructions.
“Right. Well it’d nice to see you all again. And now that you all have met Kara and gotten to know her a little, I think we should start now.”
We all mutter agreements and start shuffling to our seats, Ryan waving his hand to his before stepping outside to where the contestants are. Simon is standing close to me, of course. I have missed him a lot in the summer. We kept in touch and met up but it’s nice to be able to see him frequently. That is one good thing about auditions. He sits down in his usual seat, to the far left of the table. Speaking of the table, this new one isn’t quite to my fancy. Did I just say ‘fancy’? Wow, I have been going to London far too often. Well at least now, Simon and I can hold hands and do whatever the hell we want without getting caught. That’s one good thing about the ugly table. The thought makes me smile almost smugly.
Randy sits in his usual space too, at the other end and I move forward to sit with Simon. I pull out the chair but before I can sit down, Ken tells me his new ‘brilliant’ idea.
“Paula, darling, maybe we should sit Kara next to Simon, yeah? Just to get her settled in,” He smiles hesitantly as if waiting for me to protest.
Settled in? Why can’t she be settled next to Randy? I love Kara, she’s awesome. It was loads of fun when she lived with me but this is Simon. My Simon. Why the hell would it be better for him to sit with her and not me? Ugh. Though, of course, I can’t say anything.
I sit down next to Randy while Kara sits where I should be. She smiles at me, oblivious to my dislike towards the whole situation. I try to smile back as warmly as possible. I look at Simon, waiting for him to protest. He’s staring back at me too. He shrugs. I shrug back. Then he smiles and it only takes me a second for me to understand why. He wants to see if I will argue over him; if there is any chance of a ‘cat fight’. He doesn’t realise how much of an ally Kara is to me. And vice versa. (But that still doesn’t mean I appreciate the change in seating arrangement.) Hah, he ain’t that lucky. I look back at him again and we both know it’s going to be a long day.
The first two people to audition were horrible, the next bunch atrocious and when we think it is the end and we’re all about to give up our jobs, we’re blown away by some amazing young talent. She’s singing a song I like – Simon likes it too, and we both look at each other at the same time. We smile. Kara is leaning forward, her elbows resting on the table and Simon leans in from behind her and whispers.
“I like her. Good song choice and everything,” he tells me. I nod in agreement. We notice Kara turning her head to watch us. We immediately pull back and face the singer again. She got four yeses and her ticket to Hollywood. After her, things started to look up a little – and by little I mean very, very little. One by one, the kids walked in and out happy, angry or miserable. There was one 16 year old boy who almost cried. Such a sweet thing. He was trying to be strong and said that his mother wouldn’t like it if he cried so he pulled it together and walked out with his head held high. Simon wouldn’t have believed me if I had said this 3 years ago but I think if the boy practised enough, he could make it in by the next season. He has more potential than many. Now, of course Simon knows I mean what I say.
When there were some horribly hilarious auditions, I turned to my left, expecting Simon’s half disgusted and half amused expression. But of course, I came into view of the side of Kara’s head. I inwardly pout. Maybe we should pass notes? No, no. That wouldn’t be a good idea with Kara in between. Simon notices most of the time and turns to look my way if he wasn’t already. Many times, we tried to whisper to each other but Kara looks so uncomfortable, as if she feels guilty sitting between us and I don’t really know what to do. I have to admit, she is doing a great job on her first day. She’s not completely confident yet but she’s getting there.
The next person came in, a strange looking guy in a weird costume which I can’t identify and Simon peers over Kara’s head to look at my facial expression. He smirks. He doesn’t break the eye contact with me and he raises his arm to rest on the back of Kara’s chair. My eyes go wide and for a fraction of a second I hate her guts. He is not supposed to do that with her. He’s supposed to have his arm around me! Me and my chair. Not her! But then I realise what he is doing. He is trying to be closer to me.
Aww. How sweet. I should have known better than that. I briefly lean against his hand which is dangling at the edge of Kara’s chair. Quickly, he strokes me cheek. Kara turns towards us and smiles a little. Its somewhere between awkward and ‘aww’.
The next few people are a blur, not good at all, but not funny enough to laugh at either. Then finally someone promising looking waltzes in and Simon and I straighten up in our seats. I vaguely note that Randy and Kara do too. This girl says she is going to sing ‘Unchained Melody’.
“That’s Simon’s favourite song,” I tell her, smiling. I always say that when someone sings it. Simon and the girl, Katy, both grin at me. As she starts to sing, Simon leans back to look at me while Kara is again leaning forward. I think she is trying to stay there so Simon and I can communicate. She seems rather stiff.
Katy starts to sing and she sounds like an angel. I really like her. She seems very down to earth too. I watch Simon through the corner of my eye as he tilts his head to one side and angles his chair towards Kara. Well, actually me. He is grinning cutely and I can’t help my own lips twitching upwards into a smile. His smile gets wider as he sees mine. The way he won’t stop staring is making me a little self-conscious. He does it often, of course. But what would Kara think? I turn to him finally, trying to question him with me eyes but before I could signal anything he mouths ‘I miss you,’ and my heart melts. I pucker my lips in his direction, imitating a kiss. He winks back.
Finally, it is time for the first break. We all sigh in relief and stand up to stretch. Simon immediately grabs his packet of ‘Kools’ and signals for me to follow him. I quietly follow him out of the room and into the fresh air as he lights as cigarette. I hate the smell of it. Ew. I also don’t like that it can kill him. I shudder inwardly at the thought. But smoking is something is essentially a part of him and I wouldn’t ask him to change something he’s been doing for so long.
He breathes out and his eyes close at the sensation. His other arm wraps around my shoulders but he keeps me at a distance knowing I don’t appreciate the smoke. We lean against the wall outside, quiet until he finishes his cigarette.
“Finally, I have you with me,” He says, looking down at me.
“I’m all yours,” I reply, cuddling into his chest. I ignore the smoky smell and concentrate on his appealing cologne. Our arms wrap around each other and his head comes down onto mine. I can think of no better place to be right now.
“It’s unbearable,” He tells me, referring to our ‘barrier’. He breathes in the scent of my hair.
“She is not unbearable. Besides, you like having a fourth judge,” I chide.
“All I know is, she keeps me away from you,” His lower lip protrudes cutely. I would kiss it if he hadn’t just finished a cigarette.
“I miss you too, sweetie. But it’s the show. So we just have to listen,” I roll my eyes.
“She’ll realise it soon enough. Nothing can keep us apart,” He kisses my head before letting his hold of me go. He takes my hand and we walk back into the audition room to start up again. Boy, I can’t wait for lunch.
***
It’s now close to the end of auditions today. Ah, I’m so tired and my back is stiff. The only thing I can do to keep myself entertained is to watch Simon lean towards Kara as if he were about to say something and then pull away, smiling sheepishly. He forgets. So do I. Oh Kara, if only you knew what you’re doing to us. But it isn’t her fault, of course. Damn, Kenny. Occasionally, he puts his arm around the back of her chair, as if he were about to rest it on her shoulders. Then he’d meet my eyes and instead, reach more towards me to rest a hand on my shoulder or touch my face. Once, when I was sure no one was looking, I kissed his knuckles. It would be edited out, I know.
The amount of times I leant my leg close to Kara’s and not finding Simon’s jean clad one against mine, I have lost count. I look down to where I quickly pulled my legs away and my cheeks get hot. Simon starts laughing, seemingly knowing what I did and everyone in the room, including the speaking contestant stared at him as if he were crazy.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorr- It’s not you,” he laughed some more, and I can’t help but join in. “Paula was making me laugh,” I look up at him innocently and he bursts into laughter again, his cheeks and ears turning red. “Stop it, Paula!” We giggle together a little more before coming back from our insanity and calming down. I can’t wipe the smile off my face though and looking at Simon, he can’t either by the looks of it.
Aside from the little slip up, the audition went smoothly and the contestant made it through to Hollywood. The next one is a man, 22 years old, David. He seems a little odd… but who knows? People have often surprised us.
After the basic introduction, he starts to sing. I lean back and- Oh crap. The lightning fast pain seers through my neck as it spasms. I bite the inside of my cheek and bow forward, resting my elbows on the table. Tears prick at my eyes and I blink a few times. Oh no, I thought the meds would keep it away for at least the first day. Simon casts me a worried yet knowing glance. He leans over Kara again and strokes my left shoulder. I shudder as another spasm comes through and unconsciously pull away. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and concern. I give a tiny smile to ease him up. But his face doesn’t relax.
Oh God, it burns. It stings. It hurts so badly. Make it go away, God. Please. The only thing I can do is beg.
“Paula Abdul?” Randy asks, waiting for my response to the contestant I never heard sing. If he notices the pain, he obviously chose to ignore it.
“Uh-” I open my mouth, prepared to stutter.
“Paw-la,” Simon interrupts. “Don’t tell me you’re going to say yes?” He raises his eyebrows. He knew I wasn’t listening. I still am only half comprehending what’s going on. So he wasn’t a good singer then.
“I’m going to have to pass. Sorry,” I shake my head. The guy gets four no’s. The second after he steps out of the room and the door closes behind him, Simon jumps out of his chair.
“We’re going to have to continue this tomorrow,” He says simply. Walking over to me, he pulls me up gently by my arm. I reach for my purse but he is faster and already has it in his hand. We walk swiftly to the door and behind us we hear a confused “Alright?” from Ken. It was more of a question than an agreement.
Wordlessly, Simon wraps an arm around my waist and we head to the elevator. Simon pushes the ‘up’ button and pulls me closer. I snuggle into his shirt, trying to concentrate on him, his smell, his shirt, the way he feels. Anything to occupy my mind and forget about the pain.
He smells very faintly of cigarettes now. The stench is almost gone. His cologne is still very prominent which means he must have put on some more during one of the breaks. I sigh. The pain is going away now. The spasms are weaker. The elevator dings and the door opens. We step into the empty lift. Immediately, Simon puts his other arm around me, now holding me tightly against his broad shoulders. His hands are rubbing my back and neck soothingly. It feels good.
Shit- another strong jolt of pain passes through me and I bite my lip hard only letting a small whimper escape my lips.
“Shush, darling. It’ll be alright,” Simon coos. His hot lips touch the back of my neck, brushing gently over where it hurts. The intoxication of him is almost as strong as the pain. Finally, after a never ending moment, the wave ends and I shudder against him.
The door dings again and opens. We step out and Simon half-drags me to my room. Wait, no, it’s his room, I manage to register. He quickly swipes the key card and the door clicks open. Ow, the pain. It’s horrible.
The next thing I know, I am on the bed, Simon is riffling through my purse and is pulling out the strip of my medication. I watch through my half-open eyes as he takes two out of the package, almost dropping one in his rush, and hurries to the kitchenette to grab a glass and fill it with water.
He is back at my side in a minute, handing both the water and pills to me. I pop both pills in my mouth and take a few sips of the water. I put it down on the bedside table. Simon tucks me into the blanket before crawling next to me.
Almost instinctively, I roll into his awaiting arms. Again, he massages my neck gently. It takes the edge off the pain at least. Once more, I feel Simon’s lips come in contact with my neck, but this time it is closer to my shoulder blade. For a fraction of a second, I can only feel him and everything else disappears. But the moment his lips leave my skin, the sting registers in my mind another time.
Simon nuzzles his nose into my cheek and sighs softly. I am no longer in agony, thank God. The pain has subsided.
“Better?” He whispers.
“Yes. Thank-you, Simon,” I cup his face in my hands. He kisses my lips in reply.
***
The guys, Kara and I have just finished breakfast this morning and we’re heading to the audition hall. Simon is to my left, and oh - when did he take my hand? Ha ha. Randy is to his left and Kara and Ryan are to my right. I think Ryan kind of likes her. Aw, that’d be cute if they hooked up.
I am dreading Kara between Simon and I again. It’s just no fun without him poking and prodding and tickling me. I know I say it bugs the heck out of me – it does! – But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love it!
We enter the room and the camera crew are setting up. Kara looks meaningfully at Simon and I before taking the seat I was in yesterday. She wants to sit next to Randy?
Randy laughs. “Prefer me over Cowell, baby?” We laugh.
I try to keep myself from smiling and sit down next to Simon.
“I think Simon and Paula um, well-” Kara smiles. “I think they are happier next to each other. I’m not coming in between that,” I can feel my cheeks get warm. Simon pulls my chair so it’s flush with his and rests his arm on my shoulders, laughing.
“Good to have you back, love,” He says in a low tone. It was meant for my ears only. His free hand tilts my chin up and my eyes close as he leans in. He presses his lips against mine sweetly for a short but intimate kiss.
Ken walks in then, like yesterday, grinning. His expression changes into a frown when he sees our seating order.
“Paula, Kara? I thought you’ve switched places?”
“NO!” Kara, Simon and I both yelled.