The Inevitable Fanfiction

Chapter 11
It is a Friday evening, and Paula is having the heart to heart she promised her mother an age ago. They sit in her mother’s living room, bare footed and occupying two large sofas.
“You know what I think about the situation, dear,” Lorraine sighs.
“I know – and I know you’re right too...” Paula covers her face with one hand. “It’s just I have so much going on right now and things are really taking off.”
“Paula, are you scared? It’s okay to be scared you know.”
“I’m not scared of adopting a kid! It will be different of course, but it sounds exciting and I’ve always wanted to be a mother.”
“So what’s stopping you?” asks Lorraine.
“I don’t know, mom. I just need some time to get my priorities straight, that’s all.”
After an exchange of awkward smiles, they say no more on the subject. Though Paula loves her mother very much, she sometimes cannot see things from her point of view. Paula is much more like her father; ambitious and wild. Now however, Paula is wondering if her ambition is going to make her regret her decision some day, should she not make the right one. She frets on the topic for the next three days, lying awake in her bed for whole nights.
How she longs to hold a baby in her arms and call it her own, decorate a nursery and be a ‘soccer mom’. Then again, there are those doubts that she could ever be one of those mothers, because of her workload and fame. And if she weren’t to have enough time for her child, she would be a bad mother. And what about a father? Little boys need a firm hand and little girls need a daddy’s affection. Would her child feel like a misfit?
On the third day of her worrying, her best friend Daniel finally calls her out on it. He should be doing her hair at the moment, but Paula’s eyes are looking far off in the distance of the walls in her house, and she is much too quiet for his comfort. He lets her damp hair go and places his hand on her shoulders.
“Penny for your thoughts, or is it just empty in there?” Daniel knocks her head playfully as he would a door.
Paula shakes her head as she snaps back before giving him a look. “My head is full and functioning, thank-you.”
“Well then what? What could you possibly be hiding from me? A hot guy? It is, isn’t it?” Daniel gasps. “You have a guy and you didn’t even tell me about him – ” he progresses into a long speech, reminding Paula just how many years they have been friends and how he never hides anything from her, not giving her a word in edgewise. “And I thought we were friends!” he huffs.
“Daniel?” Paula asks once he is done, turning on her stool.
“Yeah?”
“There is no guy.”
“Oh.” Paula giggles and pats his hand reassuringly. “Then what is it?”
“Nothing. I’m single and fine.” She sounds almost authentic but he knows better than that.
“Paula, I swear I will never talk to you again if you don’t tell me what’s on your mind –”
“I’m going to adopt a baby!” She says, louder than she means to. Daniel stares at her and blinks.
“You are?”
“Well, at least I was... I just don’t know anymore.”
“Paula, I think that’s great!” he says, fully serious now.
“Really?” She looks up into his eyes, searching for some hint of playfulness, but sees none.
“Really.” Daniel pinches her cheek affectionately. “Remember when we were young and fresh in the business? You had a million dreams, to dance on the biggest stages during the day and come home to the perfect family at night. You can still have that you know; it may not be exactly what you dreamt about but it will still make you just as happy.”
Paula contemplates this.
“You know I think you’ll be a great mother. All your doubts will go away as soon as you have that little baby in your arms,” he tries again.
He takes Paula’s arms are folds them as if she were cradling a baby, and she looks down at the invisible bundle with tears welling in her eyes.
“You’re right,” she whispers.
“I’m always right.” There she sees his famous frivolous grin once more. She wrinkles her nose at her friend.
“I’m going to do it.”

***
“Hey Paula!” Ryan greets and waves enthusiastically from the stage. Paula waves back. She gives Brian a smile.
“Sup, Paula?” Randy asks, squeezing Paula’s shoulder as he sits beside her.
“Hey, Randy.”
“Hello, darling,” Simon drawls as he drops a kiss to Paula’s cheek.
“Hi Simon,” she smiles as he sits down beside her at the table.
His arm immediately rests on the back of her chair as he takes a sweet from his free hand and pops it into his mouth. Paula watches him amused as he sucks at the piece of candy blissfully, waiting for the show to begin. Simon returns her stare after a moment and looks puzzled.
He looks down at his hand and back up at her face once more. “Oh, did you want one?” He opens his palm where there seems to lie one sticky sweet already out of its wrapper. Paula grimaces.
“No thanks.”
“Suit yourself,” Simon shrugs.
As the show begins, he takes particular interest in Paula and when she is being introduced, he jabs her ribcage a little roughly. Paula squirms and scoots closer to Randy but there is a little smile on her face that does not go unnoticed by either man. At some point, he also kicks her foot, making Paula jump, startled. She casts him an annoyed look but he grins so innocently, she doesn’t know what to say. He then proceeds to give the wittiest commentary she has ever heard throughout every performance.
When Nikki comes on stage wearing something particularly peculiar, Paula braces herself for it and hopes she can keep a straight face. “What is that – a fish net and tights? Good Lord.” He pulls the side of his jeans so it bunches into his hand giving the effect of skinny tights stuck to his legs and Paula giggles.
He also, much to Paula’s dismay, mentions their last meeting. “You look lovely tonight, Paula.”
“Thanks,” she replies softly, cheeks colouring. She can feel his eyes burning into her skin as he looks her up and down.
“...Though I prefer yesterday’s attire much more.”
Her cheeks turn even hotter and the rest of her follows suite. Damn him.
After the show, Simon turns to talk to some of the contestants who are raving over the charms and trinkets they received from their favourite judge, Paula. Each has their own unique message on them, personalised and everything. It is interesting to say the least, to see how much effort Paula puts into the show and it surprises Simon. When he turns to look for her in the crowd of people backstage, to make a remark, he spots her alone in the corner with Randy’s youngest daughter, Elizabeth. Lizzie is just under six years old, the sweetest age for a little girl. She is holding Paula’s hand above her head and spinning, ballroom dancing. Paula giggles as she picks the child up and spins her around once. It hurts her neck, but she can’t help it, Lizzie is far too cute to resist.
Paula looks up after a moment, for no particular reason, but she is just in time to catch Simon staring at her. She cannot describe the look in his eye because she has never seen it before. Is it admiration? Brooding? She doesn’t know. He catches her eye and smiles almost embarrassedly. She signals for him to come over and he does so after a second’s hesitation.
“Hello there,” says Simon, smiling down at Lizzie. He sticks out a hand and waits for the little girl to shake it.
“Hi.” Lizzie laughs as she takes Simon’s hand, not to shake, but to hold over her head much like she had with Paula and spins.
“Right.” He gives her an amused look while Paula simply laughs at the pair of them. It is strange to see Simon with a child; he doesn’t seem to have any experience.
Kelly Clarkson, one of the contestants, smiles at Paula from across the room and gestures for her to come over so that she can thank her for the beautiful necklace. Paula gladly obliges, leaving Lizzie with Simon for the moment. After a few hugs and gushing thank-yous from Kelly, she turns back to the pair, unprepared for what she was about to witness next.
Simon is seated on a chair he pulled up, with Lizzie on his lap and playing with his fingers. She talks animatedly, using one dynamic hand to elaborate while Simon listens intently and laughs. He tousles her hair once, waving her tiny fingers around in his large ones, as he inquires about her dancing.
When it is time to go, and Lizzie is all set to leave with Randy, she claims to have one last thing to do. Randy, Paula, Brian and Ryan observe as she prances over to Simon who is talking with Tamyra Gray, one of the contestants, and tugs at his shirt. He smiles down at her and she crooks a finger for him to come closer. He bends slightly, wondering what she is up to, when she kisses his cheek quickly and runs away, back to her father.
Simon laughs, bids his goodbyes to everyone and ruffles Lizzie’s hair once more. He is in a great mood tonight and likes that he has become a little closer with everyone, though he wouldn’t admit this. He collects his things from his dressing room; cigarettes, lighter, wallet and phone. Smiling to himself as he walks out, he does not expect Paula to call after him.
“You’re good with kids,” she says, from somewhere behind him in the otherwise vacant corridor.
Paula jogs and catches up with Simon who is now leaning against the wall of the passage with a cocked eyebrow. She isn’t sure why she had this urge to tell him that, but something inside her wants to know if he was even remotely interested in having his own children some day.
“I’m good at everything, love,” he smirks. Paula rolls her eyes, leaning against the wall opposite him.
“Why don’t you have any of your own?” she asks.
“I don’t have the time. I wouldn’t bring a kid into this world just to leave him home with the nanny.” Simon shrugs. “What about you? You’re adopting a kid, aren’t you?”
Paula is surprised that he mentioned it; because he hadn’t since the time they fought before, where he spat it in her face spitefully. So it seemed he was mature enough to have this conversation. “I am.”
“Girl or boy?”
“Whichever I fall in love with first,” she says, and gets a dreamy look on her face all of a sudden.
“I don’t like babies,” Simon says, a little randomly. Paula screws up her face bemusedly.
“Why not?”
“They cry a lot, and they smell, and they’re just a load of work. Puppies are the better alternative.”
“Simon, how can you – ”
“No, seriously. They’re small so you can carry them, they whine but they don’t cry, and you can toilet train them almost immediately. And they don’t steal the car at fifteen.” He laughs. Lord knows they did not need another one of him in this world.
“You stole cars?” Paula gasps.
Simon raises his eyebrows suggestively. “I was the bad boy of the town; every girl’s dream guy and every father’s nightmare.”
Paula laughs incredulously. “I’m sure.”
“I was!” He emphasises and she nods.
“I believe you.”
They smile at each other, knowing for the first time ever, they were truly okay with being in the other’s company. They walk out together, not at all awkwardly. It is a nice feeling and Paula wonders if this was how she felt right before the first auditions – with this burning hope of the future inside her. The flame is smaller than it was before, but she knows it can easily grow if ignited properly.
“See you,” Simon tells her.
“See ya.”
With a parting wave goodbye each, they turn and head back to their respective cars wearing the same smile.