The Inevitable Fanfiction

Chapter 2
“Good morning, all,” Nigel says, clapping his hands together brightly. “We’ll be starting in ten minutes. Seacrest, Dunkleman, go on outside and introduce yourselves to the contestants. Simon, Paula, Randy, please sit at the table.”
Everyone shuffles to their posts. Paula hesitates behind the judges’ table, wondering if it would be too forward of her to sit in the middle. But Randy has already taken the seat to the side, and she does want to sit beside him, so she does. She sees Simon smirk as he takes the last chair.
“Off we go,” Says Simon.
The first contestant to enter was a woman in her early twenties. She is tall and lanky, loud and somewhat comical.
“Hello,” Simon greets. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Lauren Fisherman,” she says with confidence.
“And what will you be singing, Lauren?” He asks. Paula and Randy listen carefully, knowing they will have to ask these questions in the near future.
“Reflection by Christina Aguilera.”
“Right. Whenever you’re ready.”
Paula smiles at Simon; he is good at what he does. His lips just twitch upwards when they hear the off-notes of Lauren’s ‘singing’, and soon everyone in the room is cringing.
Who is that girl I see, staring straight, back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
Randy stares at the girl in shock, mouth agape, and Paula looks down at her lap, willing herself not to show her horror while Simon just rolls his eyes, more than used to this.
“Stop!” Simon says, waving his piece of paper in the air. Lauren stops her miserable attempt at a tune, and beams at Simon.
“Was I good?” She inquires.
“As long as you aren’t referring to your singing, yes, I’m sure you were,” Says Simon.
Lauren’s jaw hangs, and her brows knit together. Paula gasps inaudibly beside Simon.
“Dude, that’s a little harsh, don’t you think?” Asks Randy.
Simon turns to him. “You can’t honestly tell me you liked that.” He points his thumb in the direction of the contestant, who is now willing herself not to cry.
“Simon, stop it. She’s upset!” Whispers Paula. She cannot believe his insensitivity.
“If she’s going to cry, then she has just proven she can’t handle the business.” Simon shrugs indifferently.
Tears escape Lauren and Paula scowls. She cannot believe the nerve of him. He seemed so nice yesterday, and even before they began just five minutes ago. Was that all for show? Was this unfeeling prick someone she thought she could fancy? God help her.
“Sweetie, don’t cry. You can take lessons and maybe audition next year, okay?” Paula smiles encouragingly.
The girl nods helplessly, and runs out of the room.
“Next year, Paula?” Simon spits. “She’s dreadful. She didn’t even get a note in tune!”
“She can get lessons. Don’t just ruin her faith now.” She argues.
“She’s weak. Did you see how easily she began to cry?”
Paula bites the inside of her cheek. She is appalled, to put it mildly. And it only goes downhill from there. Simon insults almost every single contestant that walks through the door. He makes many of them cry and will not listen to Randy’s and Paula’s reasoning. He feels ‘honesty’ is the best policy and claims these Americans need a good dose of reality in them.
By the time the first hour ends, Randy looks ready to quit and Paula’s already threatened it. They take a short break and Simon Fuller gets them to calm down. As soon as they get back to auditions however, Paula is reminded how sickening it is the way Simon speaks to these kids, as if their feelings meant nothing. She had been up there once, in front of many stern eyes, and it hadn’t always been a ‘yes’. Sometimes she hadn’t done her best, and sometimes she just wasn’t given the chance. She was sure some of these contenders had these problems, and wished she could do something about it. However, it was only when Simon called one teenage girl, only nineteen, overweight, did she snap. That was the final straw.
“What the hell is your problem?” Paula screams at Simon, who starts.
“What do you mean, what is my problem? All I said was she needs to lose some weight. She will not become popular in the industry looking like that.” He speaks as if the girl was no longer in the room.
The amount of people he had made cry together, Paula had loss count of. Now, however, she could add both this contestant and herself onto the list.
“You cannot, I repeat, cannot tell a girl, or anyone, that! Do you want her to develop an eating disorder?”
“Paula, calm down. I didn’t say that –” Simon starts, but Paula jumps out of her seat.
“I quit.” She says. Simon stares.
“You cannot be serious?” He can’t believe she would quit over that. It was nothing personal, but he feels she is much too kind to these kids, and he simply is more truthful towards them. He says it as he sees it.
Paula’s mouth opens furiously and for a second, Randy grabs hold of her arms, to calm her down, but she says nothing. She roughly pulls herself from Randy’s grasp and storms in the direction of the door.
“Stop filming!” Simon Fuller yells. “Cut.”
“Paula, darling,” Nigel chases after her and takes her elbow. Paula turns to him slowly, eyes livid. “Please reconsider. He doesn’t mean any harm – really.”
“I can’t work with that man, Nigel,” she says.
“I’ll talk to him. Please. Take a ten minute break, and I’ll have a word with him, alright?” He suggests, softly.
Paula regards him for a moment, but gives in. American Idol was exactly what she had been praying for, the big break she had been blessed with. She finally gets a chance to be the place she loves most - on television again, helping kids achieve their dreams. She can’t just let go of it that easily. So she nods and Randy follows her behind the set, where they cool off.
She hears the strains of their loud discussion, back on set.
“Apologise, won’t you?” She hears Nigel persuade.
“I’m not sorry!” Simon complains back. Paula is beginning to loathe the sound of his voice.
“Mate, listen –” She tunes the rest of it out, not wanting to listen anymore.
Soon, they are summoned back on set and the cameras role. Simon attempts a smile at Paula, who blatantly ignores his peace offering. He rolls his eyes at this and she fumes silently. They try to avoid stepping on each other’s toes for the most part, and it seemed to have been working until Simon rolled his eyes very noticeably at a nervous contestant.
“Stop that,” Paula hisses, when the boy leaves the room, without his golden ticket.
“What?” Simon asks.
“Rolling your eyes like that!” Simon does it again – at her this time - only then realising how often he did. It was a rather unconscious habit which seemed to make Paula cross at him. “Ugh.” She sinks her head onto the table while Randy rubs her shoulders comfortingly.
“It’s okay, baby girl.” He says gently.
In total, Paula quit seven times in that one day. Each time, Randy or Nigel would convince her to give it one more chance. She’d given many one chances, and managed to make it through the day without killing a certain Brit which was rather impressive, if she said so herself.

***
The next morning, Paula has to literally force herself back into that hellhole. Randy leads her with a hand on her back, and both hosts greet her with one-armed hugs. Ryan had heard more than his share of what had happened the day before, and loves having an excuse to be close to Paula.
“Good morning, Paula,” Simon says softly from behind her. Paula turns to him and nods slowly.
“Good morning,” She says.
“I was hoping for a word before we begin, if you wouldn’t mind,” He tries, a soft smile playing on his lips.
Paula frowns a little. He seems just as nice as when she had first met him; charming and polite. When did she miss his transformation into the hulk yesterday?
“Okay.” She says, guarded, but follows him behind the set.
Simon gestures for her to sit on one of the make-up chairs, and she does so. He takes the one opposite her and begins gently.
“I want you to tell me what your problems are with the show and with me,” he tells her, direct and forward as always.
She takes a deep breath.
“I don’t have a problem with the show.” Simon’s eyebrows rise.
“I see.” He got the hint.
“You don’t seem to realise the impact it has on these kids when you tear them apart. We don’t have the right to crush their dreams like that.”
Simon keeps silent for a moment, digesting her words before replying. “I don’t look at it that way, Paula. You must understand that it is a tough business, and being soft with them won’t help. You’ve been there; surely you must know?”
“I’ve been there and that’s why I know how it hurts to be ripped apart. Eating disorders, emotional breakdowns, and depression starts forming. We shouldn’t be responsible for that.”
Simon has heard vaguely of Paula’s battle with bulimia when he got a tongue lashing from Simon Fuller yesterday, and tries to see it in her perspective. It is difficult, because he has always been a critic, and he has judged Pop Idol in the same way. He is the average man and she is an emotional woman. Naturally, they will not be looking at things from the same perspective.
“So what do you want me to do about it, then?” Simon asks.
“Can’t you just stop being so obnoxious?” Paula snaps before she thinks about her words. She has tried to keep her voice calm throughout this conversation, but has managed to fail. Simon straightens up, insulted.
“It would seem not.”
The day drags on, just as bad as the previous, the only upside being Paula quitting three times less than the day before.
“You are an arrogant asshole, you know that?” Paula fumes, after Simon called one boy odd looking and a fool for thinking he could sing.
“So you’ve mentioned,” Simon laughs sarcastically and rolls his eyes at her again, the way that makes her blood boil.
“F*** you,” she sneers. Simon cannot take the tiny woman facing him seriously. He has tried, but burning brightly and boldly, like a kitten believing to be as ferocious as a tiger does nothing but humour him.
Unfortunately, by the end of the day, he too, is peeved. Everyone is sick of them bickering, and it is only the first city. No one knows if Paula could last the season without either quitting or murdering Simon in the middle of the night. They are sure she has seriously considered both.
In her hotel room that night, as Paula numbly folds her clothing and packs everything into her suitcase, the tears spill down her cheeks. It wasn’t supposed to be like this; she had prayed hard for a miracle, one that would make her happy. Lord knows after the hell she had been through the past few years, that she deserved happiness. Now it would seem that she had been cursed and fell right into the Devil’s trap, disguised as the blessing she had been wishing for.
Her mobile phone rings on the bed, making Paula start. She runs her fingers through her hair as she checks the caller ID. It is her sister, Wendy.
“Hello?” Paula greets, depressed.
“Hi Paula! How are you? How is the new job going?” Wendy asks, not aware of her little sister’s glum mood.
“It’s fine, Wen,” Paula replies vaguely, not bothering to mask her voice.
Wendy immediately switches to big sister mode. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”
The tears fall faster than before. Bitter and hot they rush down her cheeks, a sob escaping Paula’s lips.
“Paula?” Wendy’s voice is alarmed.
“Wendy, he’s just awful. Just heartless – cruel – insensitive, arrogant ass – and I hate him –”
“Wait a second. Who do you hate?”
“Simon Cowell!” She says, exasperatedly.
“Your co-judge?”
“Yes,” Paula spits resentfully.
She tells her sister all about the things Simon says, and how much she hates his guts. How he makes her feel so small and ridicules her every opinion. How helpless she feels.
After about half an hour of venting and crying, Paula lies in the middle of her bed and listens to Wendy.
“If you’re sure you want to stay on the show, Paula, then you need to learn to take his crap. Talk to your therapist, okay? Just put on a strong front, be witty and show him no one can break Paula Abdul.”
For the first time in what seemed like forever, Paula laughs. It is a small little chuckle, but it relieves Wendy to hear it, at any rate.
“Thank-you, Wen.” Paula sniffs into the phone.
“Anytime, P. I love you.”
“I love you too. See you soon, okay?”
“Of course. I’ll call you in a few days. Bye.”
“Bye-bye.”
Paula hangs up.
What had happened to all those good feelings that had floated in Paula’s stomach, giving her butterflies for days straight? She had been so sure that the group of them would start a long lasting friendship. Now she isn’t sure how in her right mind, could she even have dreamt of such a thing.