The Inevitable Fanfiction

Chapter 7- In Honour of Parenting
“Simon, wake up!” I hear and someone shakes my shoulder.
“Mm, no.” I grunt and turn onto my stomach.
“We’re going to land soon, Simon,” Says Jackie and I hear her despite my best efforts. I don’t reply, hoping she’ll go away. “I didn’t want to have to do this,” She sings much too chirpily for my sleepy state.
The next thing I know I am being tickled hysterically and hoping I don’t hurt her as I twist in every direction.
“I’m up, I’m up! Christ!” I chuckle and sit up on the aero plane makeshift bed.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the closest thing you’ll ever see to Simon Cowell dancing.” She speaks in an air-stewardess fashion and I stick my tongue out and make a face.
“I’ve danced before,” I say, not wanting to lose out by one.
“I think in all the time I’ve known you, we’ve only ever danced once.”
I remember that and we laugh at the memory. I was drunk and she was all too eager for me to dance. I ended up stepping on her feet one time too many before she finally got me some water and Advil.
We are interrupted by the captain announcing our descent. Sitting up, we buckle out seatbelts. Soon enough, we are getting our things and exiting the airport. The driver drops Jackie off at her house before we set off to my mum’s place. I almost always go to her house before going home, and when my flight comes in late, I stay over for the night. The familiar sense of home floods my senses as I open the door.
I hear Sinatra music playing softly in the kitchen and I follow the sound. There mum has her back towards me and she is pouring a cup of tea for herself.
“I want some tea too,” I whine in a babyish tone, a grin pinned to my lips. She squeals when she hears my voice and practically skips into my arms. I laugh and pull her close. Her arms go around my waist and she kisses my chest, over my heart before taking my face into her hands.
“I didn’t know you were coming home!” She beams.
“Surprise!” I yell, laughing. “How are you, mother?”
“I’m wonderful, my love. Oh goodness, I missed you.” She squeezes me tight. “Now you go sit down and I’ll get you some tea, alright?” She pinches my cheek and I smile, obeying. She loves to baby me; her fifty year old son. That is mothers for you, I suppose; always looking for signs of improvement in their middle-aged children.
In the living room she brings me a cup of steaming tea and my favourite biscuits. “How is everything back in the U.S.?” She asks, making small talk as she sits beside me.
“Fine. Busy as always,” I say, indifferently.
“And….?” She smirks, sipping her tea.
“And I signed a new record deal? This group is going to be fantastic!” I smile. She swats my cheek a little, like I’m a misbehaving 6 year old.
She’s waiting for me to say something about Paula. But I won’t.
“I’m proud of you, Simon,” She says instead and leans against me. She is not going to push until I am ‘ready’ to speak. Though I wonder if I ever will be.

***
It’s my second day in England and I am now about to be interviewed by some American DJs through the phone. It’s weird they didn’t get me before I left for England, but nevertheless, I sit up on my bed and call in.
“And who do we have here? Hello, Simon!” One of them says.
“Hello there,” I reply. I can never make out who is who so I don’t give any names.
“Where are you now?”
“Actually, I’m in England at the moment. Had some work to do.”
“Uh-oh. You’ll be back for Idol on Tuesday right?” One of them asks.
“Of course.”
“Good! Idol is not Idol without Simon Cowell.”
“Naturally,” I boast.
We talk a little bit about how this will probably be my last season and then the question I have been dreading comes out.
“So we hear Paula is getting married?” I bite the inside of my cheek.
“Really? I didn’t know that!” I joke and laugh. “She never tells me anything anymore.” I realise the latter part of my statement is too truthful to be considered a joke and pangs at my heart slightly.
“No, but seriously Simon, aren’t you even the slightest bit jealous? I mean everyone was convinced you two were having some steamy love affair!”
Damn it, they are persistent. I swallow.
“Well, let’s not go as far as that-” I almost choke on my saliva and end up coughing. I laugh as I recover. “He is a lucky man, yes.” I can admit that much. To myself, I almost sound sad.
“You think Paula would be a good wife?”
“Incredible.” I try to be sarcastic, but it comes out awfully sincere. “I told her that actually. She didn’t believe me.” I giggle.
We talk a little more and then it’s time for me to go.
“Ok, then. Simon Cowell, everyone! Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Simon.”
“Of course. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
We hang up.
I spend the afternoon working in my London office, just finishing off whatever needs to be done. Just as I am finishing up, mum calls and asks me to spend the evening. I make plans with Sinitta to meet me there. Mum adores her, Jackie and Terri. Mostly Terri but still, I’ve missed the kids.
“Grandma!” Magdalena shouts in her baby voice from the doorway as mum opens the door. I get up from the couch when I hear giggling and join them.
“Simey!” Zac squeals and unsteadily walks to my leg. He grabs on tight and falls on his bottom, grinning up at me.
“Mine!” Maggie protests and grabs my other leg. I am laughing outrageously as I pick them both up.
“Hello, my little terrors.” I balance them on one arm each and see Sinitta smiling with that glint in her eyes.
She has always given me that look since a little before she and Andy divorced. I know what she wants from me, I know she wants a companion, and who better than someone who loves her kids the way I do, right? But unfortunately this is the line I draw. It’s ‘Uncle Simon’, not ‘daddy’. Though looking down at Maggie cuddling into my neck, I can’t help but feel a twinge of brooding. I can be human too, despite the contrary belief.
“Hi, Simon.” She kisses my cheek and takes Zac from me.
“You alright, sweetheart?” I inquire.
I am always worried about Sinitta. From a happy family life she became a single mum of two.
“I’m fine.” She greets mum with a hug and we all sit in the cosy living room. The walls are beige and the hanging drapes give that homey feel.
“Cartoon time!” I yell happily, collapsing dramatically on the couch so the kids will giggle. They do of course and join me there. I press the ‘on’ button on the remote control and put on the Flintstones for them – and yes, yes, I love it too.
I draw Zac onto my lap and play with his small hands. His little fingers are so fascinating. I know what’s coming though; Maggie always gets jealous when I cuddle Zac and I must admit I like it the feeling that she wants me to herself. She whimpers and looks at me with big eyes as if telling me ‘I’m cute too, you know’. I tickle her under her chin and she is satisfied again.
Mum insists on us staying for dinner and I can’t resist her cooking anyway so I don’t try. Sinitta accepts the invitation as well, letting her guard down slowly. She must be bloody tired if she’s letting someone else cook for a change. But being the good girl that she is, she helps mum while the kids and I set the table.
I let Zac carry the cloth napkins and Maggie carries the forks and spoons, with an additional two teaspoons for their teeny tiny mouths. I set the children on the table as well as the plates and glasses and just as we finish arranging everything, the phone rings. Mum scurries out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron and picks up the phone.
“Hello?” She greets. “Oh, hello!” She sounds shocked and gives me a wide-eyed look. I raise an eyebrow, questioningly. “I’m very well thank-you. And you? ...He is right here – didn’t he tell you? No, well, would you like to speak with him? Oh, alright then.” She sounds disappointed now. “No, no you aren’t interrupting. Of course, Paula, dear. Goodbye.” My heart starts pumping faster.
“That was Paula?” Sinitta asks, popping her head around.
“Apparently,” I reply.
“She said she had been trying to get in contact with you. And you weren’t picking up your house phone or American mobile. She sounded awfully worried,” She says gently.
“Well now she knows I’m fine,” I mutter bitterly.
Honest to God, what does that woman want from me?
“You should call her; see what she wants,” She tells me. I nod but make no attempt to pull out my phone just yet.
First I head to the refrigerator and pull out some Flakes chocolate. Sinitta is facing away from me but being a mum has gained her extra eyes on the back of her head, I know from experience. She is stirring something in a pot, seemingly relaxed but she knows.
“Simon,” She warns. “You better not be doing what I think you’re doing,”
“Then don’t think about what I’m doing!” I say in a sing-song way. I get like this around Zac and Maggie. They’re just infectious. She shakes her head but lets me have my way. My mood changes a bit then. That’s not the Sinitta I know. The Sinitta I know would not end the conversation like that. She likes banter and many humorous exchanges.
“Darling?” I inch closer to her and rest a hand on her waist. She turns off the flame before looking at me. “What’s the matter?”I gather her into my arms. She melts against me like she cannot support her own weight anymore.
“Nothing, Simon.”
“With you, it’s never nothing, sweetheart. Tell Simey what’s the matter.”
“Simon… Andy, he… wants nothing to do with the kids anymore. He’s even stopped calling.” She sighs. “I just feel so alone, so… So drained,” Her voice is muffled in my shirt but I hear her.
“You aren’t alone, ‘Nita,” She pulls away and smiles slightly at my nickname for her. “You have the kids, and you have your mum, and mine, and you have me.”
“It’s not the same, Simon. We’re not like that-” She looks down and I can’t help feeling a little guilty. It would be so much easier if I felt for her that way. Easier for us both.
“No, we’re not. But I promise if we ever get divorced, I’ll keep in touch with the kids, alright?” I joke and she laughs a little. “That’s my girl.” I kiss her forehead and pat her bottom.
Dinner consists of Magdalena on my lap and Zac on Sinitta’s. Mum is feeding Maggie while I make faces so the kids are entertained. After the delicious meal of grilled chicken and mash, we laze in the living room again, this time watching The Lion King. Mum keeps some kids’ things for my nieces and nephews when they come over.
“Who wants chocolate?” I pose and the kids cheer. Personally, I’d prefer a cigarette but that would get me into trouble with both the mums. And the last thing I want is for Maggie and Zac to inhale secondhand smoke.
“Simon, no. They just ate. They’ll get a tummy ache,” Sinitta protests, placing a protective hand on her son’s stomach.
“But mummmmyy,” I whine and the kids join in.
“But, but, mummy!”
“Fine, one chocolate each. That goes for you too, Simon.” She points a finger at me. I grin widely and she can’t hold her straight face. Mum, who has the packet, gives us each a Flake and takes one for herself.
“Have you called Paula back, son?” She asks and I cringe. I hope Sinitta doesn’t get offended. I think she knows I’ve cared about Paula for a long time. And she knows that we had an affair – for the lack of a better word. But still, I don’t want to hurt her. And I don’t know if I want to talk to Paula after what happened. I would be clueless as to what to say, anyway.
“No…” I look down as if I were a teenager again, caught smoking.
“Now, Simon,” She says sternly. She hates it when I avoid things like this.
“Now Simon,” I tease in a high pitched tone and make a face. Maggie giggles from the other side of the room, colouring. Zac crawls into my lap again and I pick him up, walking out of the room as to not disturb the others. In the hallway, I take out my phone and press the speed dial for Paula’s mobile.
“Whoozat?” Zac asks, pointing at the picture of Paula on the phone as it rings.
“That’s my friend; Paula,” I tell him. He traces her face with his tiny index finger and then her smile, eyes curious.
“Hello?” I hear from the phone and put it to my ear. “Simon?” Paula asks.
“Hi, Paula. You called?” I ask, apathetic as I can.
“Yeah,” She pauses. “Yeah I did. You’re in London?”
“Yeah. Last minute thing, you know.”
“Right.”
“Was there something you wanted to talk about?” I question.
“No, I just- ” A loud beeping noise interrupts us and I realise its Zac’s fingers sandwiched between my ear and the phone, pressing a few buttons.
“Zac, no.” I steer my face away from his hands. He reaches for me again. “Son, don’t do that.”
I kiss his palm and nuzzle his neck so he doesn’t get upset. Lord knows a weeping Zac is a miserable Simon.
“Simon?” Paula’s voice sounds across the line, breathy and two octaves higher than before.
I realise that the term I used was ‘son’ and that probably got to Paula. Women.
“Sorry, Paula. Zac here likes my phone apparently.”
“Zac… As in Sinitta’s son?”
“Yeah. He and Maggie are spending some quality time with Uncle Simon.” I laugh, watching Zac. “Yeah, Zac?” I coo. He giggles some more. I know I am getting to Paula, and I can’t help myself. If playing ‘daddy’- or ‘Simey’ for that matter - makes her weak in the knees, I can show off their love for me, can’t I?
“That’s nice, Simon,” She tells me.
“So what were you saying?”
“Just that Jeremy was trying to get in touch with you and when he said he couldn’t I got a little worried… It’s stupid.” I can almost see her blush.
“Why in hell would he want to talk to me for? Didn’t I quit this Maid of Honour profession of mine? Or do I need to send in a letter of resignation?” I laugh.
“He was hoping you’d know - Never mind.” She sighs.
“Alright then,” I shrug it off. I’m not sure I really want to know. “You want to say hi to Zac?”
“Sure.” I put her on speaker phone.
“Zac, say hi to Paula,” I tell him.
“Hi Zac, sweetie,” She coos.
“Hi Paula,” He whispers and hides his face in my neck as if she was staring him down. I chuckle at him.
“He’s shy,” I explain.
“I can tell… Well I’ve gotta go. Bye, Simon. Bye-bye Zac,”
“Bye-bye,” He waves into the phone.
“Bye, Paula,” I say and wait for her to hang up. She doesn’t immediately.
“I heard your radio interview today,” She rushes, like she would regret it if she pondered over it any longer.
“Um, okay?” I don’t know how to reply to that. I switch off the speaker phone now.
“You meant it didn’t you?” She murmurs.
“Which part?” I know I said many things I didn’t necessarily want her to hear.
“Everything.”
I consider lying but decide against it. I haven’t got more to lose, anyway. “Yes. Yes, I meant every word, Paula,” I tell her softly.
“…I’m sorry for everything Simon. I’m just so sorry.” I stay silent. “Simon?”
Instead of replying however, I speculate.
“Didn’t I say in the interview that I was in England? You must’ve known then, right?” I inquire.
This time she is silent.
“Usually you tell me when you’re going and –”
“You thought calling me would have me confess why I never told you,” I finish for her.
“We aren’t like how we used to be anymore,” She says. “I don’t like it.”
“You want to go back in time and undo your engagement?” I snap, defensively. This isn’t my fault after all. But she falters and I immediately feel bad. “I’m sorry. That was too harsh.”
“You’re right though… If I hadn’t gotten engaged, we’d still be best friends.”
“And yet you chose him over me. Twisted, is it not? Ironic even.” I say. “See you at Idol, Paula.”
“See you.” She says softly and hangs up. I look down at Zac who seems to sense my disheartenment as he places a hand on my face and looks me in the eyes years more intelligent than the three year old he is.
“Zac, you’re lucky you have no idea what’s going on,” I tell him with a sigh. He grins at me so surely I could almost swear he not only understands, but agrees wholeheartedly.